


Secrets

by GunTotingScienceNerd



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GunTotingScienceNerd/pseuds/GunTotingScienceNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A woman's heart is a endless well of secrets. </p>
<p>A place where the secret desires of her heart can be hidden away. Never to be seen or shared with anyone other than herself in her heart of hearts. The fantasies that live there can be source of her strength and the weakness in her soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

Title: Secrets  
Continuity: Bayverse  
Character(s): Optimus Prime, Mikaela  
Rating: T  
Summary: A Flesh_and_Steel fill that grew a little more after it was posted.  
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them.  
A/N: Character Death, if you haven't seen the 2nd movie then you may not know what I'm talking about in part of this...

~*~

A woman's heart is a endless well of secrets. A place where the secret desires of her heart can be hidden away, never to be seen or shared with anyone other than herself. The fantasies that live there can be source of her strength and the weakness in her soul.

  
~*~

  
He never gave her any indication that she was anything more than a part of Sam's entourage. However from the moment Mikaela had seen him he captivated her in a way that brought to mind sappy romance novels and cheesy chick flicks. That all encompassing way that makes other girls think you've gone insane or you're going to drive them there by never shutting up about your new guy. The kind where you sit in class and your mind floats between wanting to do well so he will think highly of you, to wondering how much time has passed while you were spaced out thinking about glowing blue eyes, and a soul searing voice.

When she felt the rumble of his engine as he approached the rendezvous spot where Bumblebee had brought them, and to know there was more yet to be revealed... To watch as his form shifted into something so powerful it would have been the envy of the Greek gods... To feel him come close to her... To hear his voice wash over her... To feel the power in his body as he moved... To hear the ground rumble as he stepped... She knew no matter what happened from this day on her life would never be the same... To know without a doubt her heart would forever belong to a metal Titan of red and royal... And know her dreams would be forever haunted by eyes of glowing blue.

~*~

  
A quote Mikaela had read once, that kept tumbling through her mind after that horrible day in the forest.

_"No matter how much it'll hurt me to see you, my most loved lost one, all that I wish is look into your eyes once again."_

Mikaela couldn't remember who the author was, but knew it was a reality that would never be especially not now...

  
The saddness would have drown her had she not forced that energy elsewhere. Focused it away from someone so enthralling that he would forever be her most cherished fantasy. Mikaela focused on a boy who had become the interpose of the feelings. Feelings for one who was so much more than Sam could ever hope to be. It wasn't fair she knew. Reality can never live up to soaring freedoms of fantasy, nor can dreams hold their sparkle in the harsh light of day.

Mikaela followed Sam across the world in search of something that she hoped could once again light those blue eyes. When she watched it crumble into dust in Sam's hand she feared her heart might follow. His insistence gave her battered heart the hope it needed to continue.

 

Mikaela swears she can feel him return in her soul. The jolt of his body was matched by one in her heart. His first breath is matched by her ability to breathe again. His groan of soreness is matched by the moan of her crumbled heart mending itself.

 

After the battle that follows she fought to hold back her tears as she sees him return from the ruins. Armor that is no longer needed falling from him as her tears long to do. When he thanks Sam on the aircraft carrier as they make their way back, she smiles because she wants to thank Sam for him too.

  
~*~

  
When she and Sam break a few months later she knows what Sam means when he says she has been distant from him. Deny it though she tried, her heart was filled by another and it had no room left for the boy.

When she got a letter offering her a government contract and apprenticeship with a familiar symbol in the letterhead she dropped her cell phone twice before she managed to call the number at the bottom to accept. When on the appointed day she was picked up by a yellow Camaro she thought her smile would split her face. Being greeted by Lenox and Epps was like coming back home to brothers she'd never had. When she was told that she'd be specially requested by the Bots she was beyond faltered. When she learned that they'd sat in their alt modes for three weeks barely moving or speaking to prove the seriousness of their intension to keep her close she thought she might cry, or faint, or both, after she threw up. She was thankfully she did none of those.

  
Learning from Ratchet was like being with a much beloved, albeit cranky, uncle. Learning from Ironhide left her torn between wanting to shoot the targets so he'd shut up or shoot him for the same reasons. Learning from Bee was like hanging it out with your kid brother. Learning from Jazz was an exciting combination of things she'd learned from her father, things every girl needed to know to get anything from any guy, and all the while having more fun than should legally be allowed – even when legality didn't always come into play.

She never had lessons from him, no matter how hard she tried to excel even just to receive his praise.

  
~*~

  
He never told her she was the reason he'd told Sam they needed him more than the boy knew. He never told her that she was the reason they had trusted the other humans. He never told her that the Matrix whispered she was more valuable than the boy. He never told her they arranged for Sam to go to a college on the opposite coast. While it granted the boy's much stated wish of a normal life away from them, the more important reason was to get him away from her. He never told her that the Original Primes knew Sam fought to save his own skin, nor that they knew Mikaela had come along for him. He never told her that he chosen to become her guardian. He never told her he did this even though it wasn't allowed. Primes after all where the guardians of all Cybertronians. Till All Are One, but never for himself. He never told her how his spark called for her.

 

~*~

  
When Mikaela's heart start skipping beats she never told anyone. When it became more common she mentioned it casually in an annual check up. When EKG's turned up nothing and the medications prescribed had the same results, she continued on without another word. When the skipped beats became harder, and the interval between beats and non beats became greater she never told anyone. When her heart started hurting and then stopped altogether she didn't have time to cry out.

 

He can feel as Mikaela wakes. He can feel her surprised to find herself not in a hospital. He can feel she is very groggy and thinks her brain might pour out her ears when Ratchet yells at her to be still. He almost laughs out loud in the middle of his meeting when she grumbles back at Ratchet. He can feel that she knows better than to not comply. He can feel the questions swimming through her. He wishes he could be near when the answers are given. He fears her reaction to outcome of those answers. He feels the rush of emotions from her when it is finally explained. He feels she is frightened first, that quickly changes into awe, then moves on to acceptance then a mix of joy and trepidation for the future. He can feel her desire to learn about what the injection of nanites will do to her body. He can feel her go from startled, to shocked, to nothingness when she learns who her donor was.

  
When they finally face each other again they can feel what they should have felt all along. Some secrets are best when shared.


End file.
